me texting my mom: okay, see you at home. love you.
my mom texting me: C u l8r. Luv u 2.
colfricans: bach that ass up
payday-parade: plot twist: he’s actually having a gay affair with Jake from State Farm.
my saturday night:
legss: pizza for one and iCarly
sherlockey-werlockey-stuff: thewideopenair: weeklyworldnews: phantomsox: Robot Unicorn Attack in Tumblr-Playable form YOU’RE WELCOME EVERYONE WHO FOLLOWS ME. There is nothing I don’t like about this game. I will always reblog this game I’ve never seen this before - and it is amazing. I’m reblogging this for myself.
notquitelegitimate: the cinema is going to be full of 16-23 year olds, no doubt Umm
I wish I could just negotiate with the spiders in...
Me: Okay well I really hate killing you guys and I know that without you the world would be overrun with insects, so I love you and all, but I kind of really need to take a shower and I don't wanna drown you or have you panic and bite me.
Spider: No probs bro I'll just go hang around in that corner until you're done. By the way, your fan is getting really dirty, my cousin's been living in there and he's not so happy with the conditions.
Me: Oh that's okay I'll have it cleaned and just you can just tell him to move out until it's done.
Spider: Sure thing, man, I'll be over here until your shower's over.
makewhitneyproud: jetblacktothecenter: seanscheidt: takeasail: i am crying. this is the best bit of marketing ever! holy fuck omg why are they all running away from her id like lunge at her and make love to her okay
tyleroakley: thestarryeyes: danshura: when people you hate get into things you like when people you like get into things you hate people into like hate get when you things you